but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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