Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I need to align my fucking chakras
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
