She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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