Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
