please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
