who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
