just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
