Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
