It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
