Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
