Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
