Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
