i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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