well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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