Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize