Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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