think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
