On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
