Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
