On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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