I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
