I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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