one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
