Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
