She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
