Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We have started to decorate penises.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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