Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
