just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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