i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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