Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
