Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
