Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
