there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well I just put wine in my tea
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
