Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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