Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
