just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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