How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Still dying that you shit outside
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
