In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
