I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
