how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
