oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
