Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
