im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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