There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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