you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
