do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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