tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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