Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
