i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
