You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
