she was so not down for the gang bang
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
