She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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