He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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