we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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