I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
