my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
