I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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