i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
