Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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