Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
