I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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