I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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